


House of Pancake

by DeHeerKonijn, Polomonkey



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fanart, Fluff, Humor, Indulgent!Arthur, M/M, Neighbors, Pets, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 18:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8812117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeHeerKonijn/pseuds/DeHeerKonijn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polomonkey/pseuds/Polomonkey
Summary: 'I just moved in and didn’t realize how thin the walls are in this building and oh god you’ve been overhearing my horrendously embarrassing baby-talk to my cat for the past two weeks'





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tracionn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tracionn/gifts), [Eviko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eviko/gifts).



> This ridic little fic was inspired by DHK's glorious au idea on Tumblr and then she did some art for it too! As ever, we are truly blessed to have her in the fandom <3

Arthur knew it was a bit embarrassing. But the move was stressful for both of them and Pancake was a highly strung cat at the best of times and Arthur felt that she needed a bit of extra reassurance for the time being.

Certain _rude_ people like Morgana and Gwaine and his entire Sunday league football team claimed that Pancake was spoilt. This was a blatant untruth. Pancake was simply a delicate feline and allowances had to be made. Sure, she turned up her nose at generic store brand cat food, and yowled whenever Arthur left her sight, and had a habit of launching herself into the water whenever he tried to take a bath. But this just indicated to Arthur that she was slightly more discerning than the average cat. He had a taste for the gourmet himself.

(He’d made the epic mistake of mentioning this to Morgana once, who’d laughed like a drain before proclaiming that Pancake was essentially Arthur in cat form and the pair of them were made to live in fusspot heaven together.

Like he said. _Rude_.)

Anyway, he didn’t spoil Pancake. But moving to a new flat had been hard on her and she still hadn’t gotten used to the hardwood floors or the bathroom fan or the fact that Arthur’s Brita filter had been lost in transit so he could only put plain old tap water in her bowl.

“I know,” he said soothingly as she glared at the bowl, clearly wondering why he was forcing her to live like some sort of medieval peasant cat. “I’m sorry, angel.”

Pancake sniffed, imperiously.

“Come on, just a little drink,” Arthur coaxed. “Just a little drinky-wink. One big sip for the Princess.”

Pancake deigned to lap up a single mouthful.

“Who’s a good girl?” Arthur cooed. “Who’s my fuzzy wuzzy fluff bomb? Who’s my precious little puffball? Is it you? Is it you?”

He swooped her up into the air and she butted her head into his chest.

“It is you! You’re my perfect little toasted marshmallow.”

He heard a strange snorting sound from the wall to his left and wondered if his odd neighbour was coughing again. The man had some kind of serious lung disease from the sound of it. Probably a smoker. Arthur felt bad for him but at the same time it was very inconsiderate. He’d never dream of making so much noise and yet he could hear that guy clanking around all the time.

He had half a mind to say something about it when he saw the man coming out of his flat the next day. Nothing too aggressive, just a reminder that they did share a wall and Pancake slept badly enough as it was…

But when the guy turned around, Arthur’s prepared speech flew right out of his head.

It was slightly unfair that someone could look that good dressed in an outfit that would make the eighties themselves cringe, but this guy managed it. Not even the garish purple jeans and the hideous tie dye t-shirt could hide the attractive leanness of his body; and the gold medallion round his neck did nothing to detract from the pouty red of his lips or the piercing blue of his eyes. When the man turned back to check his door was locked, Arthur discovered that the back view was just as favourable as the front.

“Nice,” Arthur muttered but perhaps he had misjudged the volume because the guy swung back round.

“What?”

“Nice… to meet you,” Arthur stammered. “And, er, to meet you nice!”

The guy looked confused, as well he might when faced with a total stranger doing an impromptu Bruce Forsyth impression.

“Okay… nice to meet you too?”

Arthur got a hold of himself and stepped forward to extend a hand.

“Sorry. Bit sleep deprived. I’m Arthur, I just moved in next door.”

The man relaxed slightly.

“Oh right, yeah. I’m Merlin.”

He shook Arthur’s hand.

“Welcome to the building. The best advice I can give you is to ignore the smell of weed drifting up from Mr Gaius’ flat; he assures me it’s medicinal and who are we to deny an old man his fun, really?”

“Ignore the elderly pothead, got it. Anything else I should know? Like, er, what’s with your outfit maybe?”

“Oh, I’m a professional disco dancer,” Merlin said pleasantly.

_Was that a real thing?_

“Ah, that’s… interesting,” Arthur said weakly.

“Yeah, I perform in pubs, compete in competitions and that. It’s more than just dancing actually; it’s kind of a philosophy. Like I believe the spirit of disco lives within us all and if we could only harness its power to do good, we could probably put an end to all the wars and suffering in the world, and you’re not actually buying this, are you?”

“Eh?” Arthur said.

“I work in Flares! You know that seventies themed bar downtown?”

Arthur blushed, because he wasn’t that gullible normally and he blamed Merlin’s ridiculously high cheekbones for this momentary lapse.

“Do you always lie to complete strangers?” he said loftily.

Merlin was giggling now, not meanly.

“I’m sorry Arthur but you should have seen your face! I could practically see you booking a moving van in your head.”

Arthur wanted to be mad but Merlin’s laugh proved to be strangely infectious. He couldn’t help but join in.

“You’ve made a terrible first impression on me, I hope you know that,” he said when their hilarity had finally subsided.

“Ah well I have to go to work now and listen to the Grease soundtrack for seven hours so consider me duly punished.”

“So you get off at nine?” Arthur said, deciding to take the plunge. It wasn’t very often someone took the piss out of him in a way that he actually enjoyed and he wouldn’t mind getting to know this Merlin better.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just… I don’t really know the neighbourhood yet and I was thinking about getting a takeaway. Like, if you were free. To advise on which one.”

Merlin looked momentarily thrilled and then a frown crossed his face.

“Like a date?”

“Well not… I mean… I don’t know if you’d call it a date exactly…” Arthur said awkwardly, wilting slightly under Merlin’s forbidding glare.

“Yeah, ‘cause I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate that,” Merlin said sharply.

“My girlfriend?” Arthur said, baffled. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Don’t lie to me. We share a wall, remember, I can hear you talking to her,” Merlin said, looking increasingly riled.

“What? Merlin, I have no idea what you’re on about. I’m the only person in my flat.”

“Oh really? So who’s your ‘little princess’ then? Your ‘precious angel’? Your ‘eensy-weensy fluff in boots’?”

“Christ, Merlin, that’s my cat!” Arthur yelped and Merlin’s mouth dropped open.

Arthur had heard the phrase ‘burst out laughing’ before but he’d never really considered what it meant until now. Because Merlin didn’t just start to laugh, he practically _exploded_  with it. It spurted out of him like a geyser and all Arthur could do was stand there and wish a friendly portal to the underworld would open up and whisk him away from this hell of his own making.

“Oh my God,” Merlin said when he finally paused for breath. “Your cat. You call your cat Lady Fluffington. And Little Miss Purrfect. And Tiny Baby Snugglepuff.”

“You’re the one who thought they were nicknames I would actually give a girlfriend,” Arthur said sulkily.

“To be honest, I was a bit confused by Little Fat Butterball. I don’t think that’s one most women would cherish.”

“And yet you weren’t confused by the fact that this woman never replied to me?” Arthur pointed out.

“Hey, I don’t know,” Merlin said indignantly. “She might have had a very soft voice.”

“And when you heard her miaowing?”

“Weird sex game,” Merlin said instantly.

Arthur didn’t want to laugh, really he didn’t. He tried to compress his lips into a thin disapproving line but a chuckle escaped anyway.

“Ah, don’t be mad. I think it’s cute.”

“She’s a very sensitive cat,” Arthur grumbled. “I’m only trying to put her at ease.”

“Very noble,” Merlin said, straight-faced. “I could meet her tonight maybe? When we get that takeaway?”

“What makes you think I still want to eat dinner with you? When you’ve heartlessly mocked the most important woman in my life?”

“Would it make you feel better if I embarrassed myself in front of you?” Merlin offered.

Arthur considered.

“Yes, it would actually.”

Merlin sighed and reached into his rucksack.

“Shut your eyes,” he said resignedly.

When Arthur opened them again, Merlin was wearing a truly resplendent rainbow coloured afro on his head. Arthur guffawed.

“That is horrendous. You look ridiculous.”

“So I’m not your fluffy rainbow angel child?” Merlin said. “Or your silly seventies snookums?”

“Hey, you don’t get a nickname from me yet. You have to earn one.”

Merlin grinned and then checked his watch.

“Hold that thought, I gotta run.”

Then to Arthur’s great surprise, he darted forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek before sprinting off down the corridor.

“The Chinese takeaway on Ford Street is the best,” he threw over his shoulder as he went. “Get some spring rolls and I’m yours for life.”

Arthur stood stock still in the hall for quite a while before coming to his senses and retreating to his flat.

Pancake was curled up next to the radiator, a contented look on her face.

“I think I have a date, princess,” Arthur said rather dazedly, and Pancake purred with pleasure.

For a high maintenance cat, she adjusted to Merlin fairly quickly when he started coming around. And as for Merlin, he managed to retain the high ground for a record breaking three days, until Arthur came into the kitchen one morning and overheard him asking Pancake who was a clever little roly-poly gigglepuss?

Arthur was very gracious in his triumph. He only called Merlin gigglepuss for the next two weeks.

After all, he couldn’t help but spoil the ones he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Bonus DHK sketch [here](http://deheerkonijn.tumblr.com/post/149612057345/i-sadly-couldnt-do-the-final-week-of-pornalot) :)
> 
> The wonderful Tracionn and Eviko also favoured Pancake with some of their lovely art! Please gorge yourself [here](http://tracionn.tumblr.com/post/138278539753/pancake-arthur-and-pancake-pancake-merlin-and), [here](http://tracionn.tumblr.com/post/147028732576/tracionn-merlin-arthur-and-his-favourite), [here](http://tracionn.tumblr.com/post/152647723238/autumn-merthur-featuring-arthurs-cat-pancake-x), and [here](http://eviko.tumblr.com/post/140472938885/herrhasen-supercalvin-eviko-eviko-you).


End file.
